


Beautiful

by shewantstowrite



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Bisexual Archie Andrews, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt Jughead Jones, Jughead Jones Needs a Hug, Jughead Jones is Not Asexual, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Archie Andrews, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:45:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewantstowrite/pseuds/shewantstowrite
Summary: Jughead is struggling with low self esteem and self loathing. Archie wants to help, and he's willing to do anything to show Jughead that he's beautiful.





	Beautiful

Rain fell lightly from the sky as Jughead woke up harshly, head snapping to the side as consciousness enters his mind suddenly. The boy hasn't been getting the best sleep lately, and it showed; he glares at the reflection on the mirror with dismay and disgust. The bag under his eyes are dark and more predominant than usual; his lips are dry and his hair is a mess but he doesn't have the energy to fix it properly. 

After brushing his teeth and putting on his clothes for the day, Jughead doesn't mind eating breakfast as he rushes out of the trailer's front door. The walk to school is usually relaxing and comforting, but amid the rain Jughead felt unsafe and somewhat alone. The black haired boy's mind had been a mess lately; beside the usual troubles with school that every teenager has, Jughead was now facing another problem: extremely low self-esteem. 

He watched all the boys from Riverdale High get muscles and grow tall and strong. Their hair was beautiful and their faces manly and sharp. Jughead didn't change much, he had grown a few inches taller and his muscles inflated, but not to the point where it was noticeable and attractive on his eyes. 

He felt small and weak, but mostly unattractive. He used to wear his beanie proudly as it was part of his identity, and now he just uses it to hide, to fade within the crowd and avoid attention. 

And nobody noticed the changes in his behavior but Archie. He watched his best friend's head get lower everyday, and when he talked to him he felt the self loathing coming from the black haired boy. It was difficult to know how to help Jug, since he was dealing with mind troubles of his own.

So he did what he usually didn't do.

He waited at the school's entrance for his best friend to arrive. He spotted Jughead approaching the building with his head lower than usual; there was a sting in Archie's chest, almost like regret felt. 

"Hey Jug." He greeted, watching a small smirk form in his friend's lips. 

"Hi Archie. What are you doing in the rain?" Jughead spoke for the first time since he had woken up. His hair was a bit wet in the parts where the beanie couldn't cover and droplets of water were falling on his cheeks and nose. 

Archie thought he looked beautiful.

"I was waiting for you."

The school's bell rang loudly and a wave of students walked around, going to their respective classes. 

"Just in time." Archie was glad that in that day they had classes together in almost all periods. They walked side by side, and the red head noticed how Jughead almost hid behind his frame. 

*

It was second period when it happened. It was math class; Jughead was sitting by Archie's side, who was taking notes and seemed to be understanding the class very well. Jug didn't care to even try to watch the class; he realized that his low self esteem was affecting his education and it escalated from there. 

The voice of the teacher faded, the students' pencils noise dissipated, being replaced by a ringing in his ear and a pounding of his heart. He felt his chest get heavier to the point of making breathing normally a difficult task. His hands closed in fists as he felt his nails digging in his palms painfully, but that wasn't as close as the pain from his chest. His heart was on his throat, pounding, almost making him choke on his own fastened heartbeats. 

The last straw was Archie's voice echoing in his ears.

"Jug, you okay?" 

He knew it was a whisper, but it sounded like screams in his head. His stomach felt like being turned inside out, and that caused him to storm out of the classroom, leaving the students and the teacher in confusion. 

In the hallway, the world started to spin around him as he barely made it inside the bathroom's stall. He kneeled down in front of the toilet and vomited nothing, since he hadn't had eaten anything. His mouth stung from the acid liquid and his throat hurt. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out, but he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to come back to class. 

The pounding of his heart now seemed to be contained, but barely. His eyes were watering from both throwing up and feeling emotionally tired. He leaned against the stall's wall, letting his limbs rest and fall on the dirty ground. He didn't even hear the door swing open.

"Juggie? You in here?"

It was Archie. Jug wanted to scream but he couldn't, so he just knocked on the wall he leaned against and waited for the red haired to appear, and he did.

"Jesus, Jug, you look sick. What happened?" 

The back haired boy managed to remove his beanie lazily from his head, also symbolizing how vulnerable and weak he felt. He didn't know that hating his body and appearance could escalate to that. 

"I-" He choked in his words, and that's when Archie realized how bad it was. He sat by Jughead's side in the bathroom floor, not having another care in the world before his best friend. "I don't know what that was."

The red head watched his friend's expression; Jughead looked scared, almost like a child would when telling that they were afraid of the dark. "It was like-" Jug breathed "Like a wave of adrenaline in my chest, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I-" 

Jughead teared up but brought a hand up to dry it before it could fall down his face. "I thought I was going to die. The world was blurry and I felt so small."

Archie put a hesitant hand on Jug's arm. He didn't flinch, so the red head proceeded to pull his best friend into a much needed hug. He didn't let go until Jughead did first.

"That was an panic attack, Jug."

Jughead's wet blue eyes stared at his best friend's face. He didn't mind to wipe his tears by now. "How do you know?"

"Betty used to have those when we were kids. But it wasn't as strong as the one you just had." Archie spoke, his voice vibrating inside the stall. 

Archie had so many questions; why Jug was having panic attacks and what were his triggers, and how he could help. Why Jug's eyes looked empty and his skin pale, why he looked sick and neglected by himself. 

But he decided to let those questions for later. 

"Do you wanna go to my house and skip school?"

Jughead nodded, his black curls bouncing on his forehead. Even broken, Archie thought he look beautiful. 

*

Fred wasn't home when they arrived, as expected. It was barely lunchtime by the time they sneaked out of school. Vegas greeted them as they entered Archie's home and it brought a small smile to Jughead's features. 

The red head offered his friend some food, but Jughead refused to eat. Archie decided not to force him to eat; he was afraid to trigger his friend into another attack.

 

Instead, they just headed to Archie's bedroom. Jug threw his bag in the same spot as he had for years now, in the corner of the room. He rushed towards the bed and sat down. 

Archie admired the way Jug glanced outside the window, close by the bed, and watched the raindrops fall one by one. Soon his eyes were just like the glass, but with tears. Archie only realized he was crying when he heard his sob, barely audible. He approached his friend, and this time, Jug was the one who started the hug. 

Archie felt the sting again. 

"I'm sorry Archie, I didn't mean to be like this and ruin your day." Jughead said, and it almost sounded like a plea. 

The red head shook his head, keeping his arms tight around his friend. "No Jug, you don't apologize. You can't control those things and you didn't ruin my day. I would be feeling terrible if I wasn't here with you."

Jug stopped trembling for a moment, and took a deep breath. Archie has never, in many years of friendship, seen him like this. He wasn't the type to open up, to let people in easily, to show vulnerability, but here he was, gripping Archie's shirt like his life depends on it. 

"I fucking hate myself, Archie." The red head flinched at the hard words. Jug sounded mad, and the worst is he knew he was mad at himself. "Everything about me is shit. I can't even write anymore without realizing how fucking stupid and worthless I am." 

Archie pulled away at that, grabbing onto the other boy's shoulders. "Jug, listen to yourself. Where did this all came from?"

Jughead seemed shocked by Archie's behavior, but responded anyways. "I don't know, I just feel like shit. My face is shit, my body is ugly and I'm just fucking stupid in general." 

"Is that why you been looking-" 

"Looking like shit all the time? Yeah, I'm shit." Jughead spat, defensive. 

"No! Jug, you look sick. Unhealthy, barely hanging on. You need to take care of yourself." The rain was pouring now, harder than before, and Archie was glad they came back early and didn't had to face the small storm that was starting. 

"I don't care about myself." Jug's blue eyes were determined, as if treating himself badly was truly what he thought he deserved.

Archie stood up, making the smaller boy look up at him. "Well, I do." 

The red haired boy walked towards the door as Jughead's features filled with confusion. "Where are you going?"

"To your trailer to get your stuff. You're staying with me."

It took a while to convince Jug to stay. Once Archie had his laptop, books and Serpent jacket, he complied. 

Fred didn't seem to mind his presence; actually he liked having him around. Jughead was busier, taking care of Vegas sometimes and helping Fred with home tasks, but he wasn't close to getting better. Archie suggested him a psychologist, maybe therapy, but Jug laughed at the suggestion.

He deserved to feel like this, he thought. He even refused to wear the Serpent jacket, not feeling worthy at all. 

Archie was running out of ideas to help him with his self esteem, but at least he was eating properly and didn't look sick as much anymore. 

It was another rainy day when Archie came back from school, anxious to meet Jug, like he was for the past week living with him. Archie rushed upstairs, not minding how wet he was making the floors from coming home after being in the rain. 

Jughead was crying, shirtless, curled up in a ball on top of Archie's bed. The red head rushed to his side, making the bed wet too, but that wasn't as close to his biggest concern. 

This time, Jughead flinched at his touch. Archie was taken back by his friend's reaction, and just sat there as Jug turned around to face him. "I can't do this anymore, Arch." 

Archie attempted to pull him into a hug, which he again refused. "Don't, I-" 

He choked in his words and decided to stay quiet. Archie felt like crying, he felt useless, not being able to help as his friend suffered. "Juggie-" He just said his name not knowing what to even begin to say. 

They sat in silence until Jug's breathing became stable again.

"I had another panic attack."

Archie wasn't surprised, usually those don't just happened once, but he was regretful that he wasn't there when it happened. "I'm sorry I wasn't here, Jug."

"I was just heading out of the shower and saw myself in the mirror and it started from there, I just-" he breathed. "I hate how I look."

Archie wanted to scream, to tell him he's beautiful. Far from that, he's gorgeous. Archie had come to terms with his sexuality a while now. When he started to have feeling for Jug, it caused him small panic attacks of his own. After talking to his father about it, he was okay and in terms with it. No one knew though. Just the thought of everyone at school knowing he was bisexual could trigger him; he wasn't ready to come out yet. 

His voice was stuck in his throat as Jug spoke. "You grew up, Archie, you look good and I'm just a scrawny kid who wears a beanie and writes novels because that's the only thing I'm good at, and I can't write anymore."

"You are so much more than that." Archie managed to say. "I wish I could just show you how you look through my eyes." 

"How do I look, Arch?" That made the red head's heart beat faster. If Jug wasn't so sad and broken, he could declare himself right at that moment. But it wasn't the time. 

Besides, he was sure Jug wasn't into him.

"You look good too, Juggie."

*

The rain turned into a storm quickly in that afternoon. The thunders were distant, echoing through the sky like Jug's voice inside Archie's room. Living with the red head had become a normal part of Jughead's life; they did it often, from when FP was too drunk to take care of his own son, or just when the boys were bored and alone. However, that was the first time Jug didn't see Archie as just his best friend.

He hated himself for thinking that way. Maybe it was because he was sad, needy and emotionally alone. Maybe it's because Archie Andrews grew muscles in the summer and stole everyone's heart, and Jughead was jealous that he didn't. Maybe it was because every night before they slept, Archie would ask him to wake him up if he had another panic attack. Jughead didn't know what it was, but he was almost sure that it was a temporary crush. He was sure that Archie would never feel that way towards another boy.

Both boys got caught up in a quiet beginning of night time, admiring the rain and thunderstorms as they did their usual activities. Jug managed to write a few paragraphs of his novel while Archie played his guitar and created random sequences of notes that were somehow harmonious. Archie made coffee, which the black haired boy took gratefully as he realized that it was the first time he had eaten or drank anything without a second thought that week. It was already dark when Fred arrived, and they did their usual tasks. Help Fred with dinner and cleaning the kitchen after they all had the meal together. It was a routine that Jug got really involved in, and made him feel like he belonged to a normal family for once. Archie noticed how excited he got over cooking with his dad.

It was almost 10 pm when they were done with dinner and ready to go to bed. Jughead set his bed on Archie's bedroom floor, where he had been sleeping since he was a kid. He was already laying down when Archie appeared from inside the bathroom, wearing nothing but a shirt and boxers. Jughead had that feeling in the pit of his heart again, but shook it off with a spoken sentence: "I think I'm going to school tomorrow." 

Archie was taken back, not sure if he should feel glad or hesitating. "You sure, Jug? You feel better already?" 

Jug shrugged. "Maybe not, but I can't just stay home forever."

Archie's heart warmed up as Jug called his bedroom, his house, his family a home. "I'm glad, Jug. School isn't the same without you. I miss watching you lurking in the hallways."

The black haired boy laughed at that, hiding his smile behind his palms. He still wasn't fully done with the whole self esteem situation, but Archie understood that it wasn't something that would change in a week. "Guess I got a stalker."

Archie smiled as he laid down, matching Jughead's position; laying on their backs and staring up at the ceiling, waiting for their tiredness to take over. 

"How are you feeling, Jug? Truly." It escaped Archie's lips before he could think of saying it. 

Jughead turned his body to look at the red head boy. "I'm getting better. I can write again, I don't feel as tired and sick." There was a pause and Archie knew it as coming. "But I'm still not over the whole self esteem thing. It's just difficult to work on something that you see and deal with everyday, and other people can see it too."

His friend knew Jug was talking about his appearance. "How could I help with that, Juggie?" 

"I don't think you can. That's some inner issues that I got to deal on my own."

With that, Archie was content that Jughead wasn't as lost as the beginning of the week. He knew he had a long way ahead of him, but who doesn't, at their age? They were there, together. Maybe not in the way Archie wanted them to be, but his black haired friend was there, calm, peaceful, falling asleep without worrying about how he looked, and that's what mattered.

There was a shout, lost amid the night, and it was still echoing when Archie woke up. It was Jug, sitting up right in his bed on the floor and twisting his hair into his fists. The red head rushed to his friend's side, trying desperately to get his attention as he cried. "Jug, hey." It didn't work. Black curls were being painfully pulled as Jughead cried, not being able to control his breathing. The moon was now up high in the sky and their skins looked blue under its light. If it wasn't the bad circumstance, Archie would write a song about it.

"Shit, Archie, sorry I woke you up, i just-" He whispered, still holding his hair and burying his face in his knees.

"Stop, Jug, let go of your hair, let's talk."

"There's nothing to talk about, I'm fucking disgusting and there's no point of saying otherwise!" He spoke loudly this time. Neither of them cared to think that neighbors or Fred could hear. The room was heavy and hot and Archie wanted to breath in Jug's pain to save his best friend from it. "I'm ugly, disgusting, I'm going to end up like my dad and die alone."

Archie took Jug's head in his hands and pressed his lips against his friend's forehead, almost as an instinct to make him stop saying those things that hurt both of them. Jug was cold and sweaty, but Archie couldn't care less. He felt his friend's heart beat get slower, however his breathing did get more unsteady. He was crying, after all.

"Please, Archie, please." He sobbed.

"What, Jug? What can I do to help you?" Archie spoke against Jug's skin. It was a plea, a prayer, the answer he had been waiting for the past week.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to feel good and feel like I am enough." He lifted his face for the first time, his eyes were red but still glowing under the moonlight. The wet track of the tears were down to his neck and his curls were finally release from his fist and were all twisted now. "Kiss me, Archie."

Archie froze in position. He wasn't sure if he heard Jughead right, if it was just his mind making up words and messing with his understanding of his surroundings. His heart was pounding at this point, and neither of them could distinguish whose heart beating was theirs. 

"W-What?" He stuttered, not sure if the should feel the happy that Jug asked that or sad that he did it in a sad circumstance.

"I want- I need to feel something-" He swallowed down a sob. "Something different than this sadness." 

"I don't want to take advantage of you. You're not in your best state of mind."

"I still know what I want. And I've been wanting this for a while now. So please, kiss me, Archie."

Neither of them could tell which one made the first move. Eager lips met each other in the middle, the moon witnessing their first kiss. Archie tasted Jug's tears in this lips as he moved his mouth against the other boy's, hands hesitantly running up Jug's arms. They pulled apart, only to meet again in a few seconds. Archie felt like his whole mind was numb, so relaxed into the kiss, while Jughead felt the opposite. There was an explosion of emotions and feelings in his head, and he was finally glad that it was a different kind of attack that got him this time. 

"You are-"Archie spoke against Jug's lips "-the most beautiful boy I've ever seen."

And for Jughead, that was enough to make his chest explode in tingles. "Arch-"

Archie moved his lips to Jughead's jaw and neck, moving up and down as he kissed and spoke against his skin, causing the smaller boy to shiver and breath deeply. "I've always liked your eyes, so blue and bright."

Jug whimpered low in his throat, not wanting to make a sound and show how eager for his best friend"s touches and words he was.

"Your smile, always made me smile- and your freckles, they look like stars."

The red head's big hands found their way buried in dark curls. "You hair- so soft- and don't get me started on your collarbones, your chest."

Jughead was basically panting at this point, feeling Archie's hands and lips everywhere. His mind was a mess of "Archie, Archie, Archie" and he never felt more alive while thinking of the same name over and over again. He could feel his chest flustered and heavy, and his hips unsteady against the red head's hands. 

"Jug, you are the best part of my life, and watching you say or think of those bad things about yourself makes me mad that I didn't told you all of this before, because I was scared." He pecked Jug's face everywhere, from the bridge of his nose to his chin, his friend's hips still tight in his big, firm hands. "What do you want me to do, Jug?"

"T-Touch me, Archie. I want to feel you, want to hear you, to have you close-" Jughead let his head fall back, frustrated at his own frustration. "God, I want you, Archie."

The red head's brown eyes were blown with lust and love. Mostly love, as he watched Jughead under the moonlight, his voice saying those things to him and almost begging for him to touch him. Archie thought, for a second, that he was dreaming. 

He lowered his hands to run down his friend's stomach, noticing how the last week of eating properly had got him a pouch, which he absolutely loved. He felt Jug squirm under the touch of his stomach, to which Archie commented. "I love every single inch of you." 

He didn't hesitate to say the word "love".

"Archie, oh-" Black curls bounced as the red head's hand fell down enough to brush on the other boy's crotch. Jughead was hard under his boxers. Archie didn't hesitate to touch Jug under the clothing either; he knew Jug needed this and wanted this, and every single body language coming from the boy's body confirmed him. Jug pushed against his best friend's hand, causing enough friction to elicit a moan from his throat. 

Archie groaned at the sound of Jughead's moan. It was something he had only fantasized about and now it was almost like it had materialized. He felt completely surrounded by Jug's noises. He grabbed his friend's hard cock, pumping it a few times slowly and watching the boy squirm and hiss at the sensation. Archie had a boner of his own, but it didn't care to him; having Jughead like that, physically begging and moaning and tearing up at the sensation, was his only care in the world.

"How does that feel, Juggie?"

"So good- ah!" He moaned again, reacting to Archie's hands moving a little faster with a firmer grip. Jughead was basically straddling Archie's thighs at that point, dragging his hips side to side and up and down, feeling too much to stay still. 

"I love how you look right now, Jug. You look beautiful." Archie's voice was an octave lower, completely filled with lust as he continued to pump his friend's throbbing cock. "So needy, you're beautiful, you look like an angel."

And man, he really did. Jughead had his head moving between falling back and tilted to the side, his jaw was dropped from arousal and his eyes almost completely black from lust. He had a thin coat of sweat covering his flustered chest; Archie fell in love watching it rise and fall following the rhythm of his hand's pumps. Archie was determined to make the boy- his boy - fall apart completely. He fastened his speed and glued his lips to Jug's neck, thirsty for the vibrations of the boy's moans. 

"Arch, fuck-" He swallowed his words and whimpered loudly. "Don't stop, please-"

Archie smiled against his hot skin. "I'm never gonna stop. I'm never gonna stop telling you how beautiful and amazing you are. I'm never gonna stop loving you, Juggie."

"A-Arch, I'm gonna-" Jughead couldn't finish his sentence as he came, swallowing his moans, worried that they would be too loud. He felt himself covering Archie's hand with his come, but the red head didn't seem to mind at all. He had his eyes glued on the boy recovering from his orgasm.

"That's it, baby. Come here." He opened his arms to hold a heavy breathing, tired and limp Jughead, who felt like nothing in the world could take away his high.

"Thank you, Arch." He managed to whisper.

The red head smiled, kissing the top of the boy's head, feeling curls tickle his face. "Don't thank me. I'll be here for you always."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

Archie's smile faded. "Did you regret it? Did you wanted it Jug? Shit, sorry-"

"No." Jughead interrupted, speaking out loud, sure of his answer. "I just feel like we have to talk about us. From what I just heard, I think you may feel the same way as I do."

"Sure, Juggie. We can talk all you want. But get some rest now. We had a lot going on tonight." 

Both boys smiled and held each other tightly, listening to each other's heartbeats and breathing. They admired one another's features until the moon hid under a cloud and its light disappeared, taking away their excuses to keep their eyes open.


End file.
